One of a kind;
★ Headache, Heartache.
Posted On Wednesday, December 19, 2012 @ 11:45 PM by Yourname | 0 Comments This Entry
Haven't been blogging for a while, guess this lazy side of mine is beginning to come out. Well, since it's coming to the end of the year, i guess i can sum up what has happened already, and probably my resolutions..Came back from BKK 2 days ago, and wow, a lot events happened over there. Sure, i was torn apart to take sides, but man.. i decided to remain neutral and calm. Yeah i blew up and got frustrated because we were all in a foreign country where language is a barrier, but overall i had time to take my mind off stuff in Singapore, even if it was a little bit. At least it cleared my thoughts.
Met my ex a few weeks ago in school, i can't say i didn't feel terrible. He approached me, i thought i could handle it, i thought i was strong, but nope, after he walked away, i cried. It hurt, but hey, i guess now i'm getting over him, so... that's good i guess? I don't know why i hate him, maybe because of what he tweeted after we broke up? We broke up because of religion, because my mom forced me to. As they say, you can't find another family member, but you can find another boyfriend. He was upset with how i always listened to my parents. Why couldn't i? I love them more than anyone else. I respected my mom's opinions, so i listened.. Well, since i'm some "delusional kid" who has a lot of "ego", and that you're "not proud to call me your past", well, MERRY CHRISTMAS, how about a pair of middle fingers for you? :)
I guess this year has been pretty hectic and enriching in a way. I learnt a lot from people of all walks of life, been through a series of disappointments, and had happy moments too. I know many people hate how i curse a lot, get angry sometimes and blow up at them.. But trust me, i was worse than this before i got into NP. I used to have bad anger management. I swore more. I hit people, hard. I got into fights. I bullied, been bullied too. Right now, i still curse, i get angry sometimes, i hit, but i usually hit lightly without any pain and only with a loud sound, unless you decide to piss me off real bad then i'll go ahead and hit you, hard.
Sure, poly is full of judgemental people, stereotypical people and all, but hey that's life, you'll meet different people. If one doesn't choose to respect who you are, then fuck it. Why go through great lengths just to please that ONE person? Maybe that's just my thinking after all i've been through till now..
Yeah i heard a lot about me. Yes, i know my flaws, but why are you judging me that hard when you don't even know me? Heck, you don't even talk to me, and you're spilling out things you hate about me when you don't know me at all? Like, wtf? -_-; Don't act like you know a person well when you don't. And DON'T ever make my friends choose between me and you. We are different people with different personalities, and fuck, if you think i'm "stealing" your friend, then do something about it, and not confront him/her, corner him/her and make him/her choose. That's been selfish on your part, and not thinking about how the other party feels. Maybe you should try to be in that person's shoes and choose too. Trust me, it'll be hard.
Enough about bad stuff, guess it's time to talk positively? I guess i learnt how to study and focus on my modules after failing 3 modules last sem. Yeah it was a huge blow to me, it hurt like hell, but hey, i'm doing well. I don't care if i'm slower than the rest, at least i'm given another chance to prove myself and everyone else wrong. I've met a lot of new people this year, and i can't lie that they've been a great bunch of people. We have people who jokes a lot, people who know how to have fun, people who know when to be serious. Mix all the positive values of these people and you get a concoction of fun, laughter and happiness. I've learnt how to trust people more, i've learnt to be more positive. I was negative as hell before, i committed suicide twice, of course, those failed. I'm not afraid to die. I used not to trust anyone before, due to shit that happened in secondary school. I learnt to open up, learnt to speak up. I manage my anger better now.. All these wouldn't be so if it wasn't for my friends in poly. Thanks for everything, really. :)
Till another time when i'm not so lazy anymore haha.
