One of a kind;
★ What am I?
Posted On Saturday, October 6, 2012 @ 5:30 PM by Yourname | 0 Comments This Entry
Exactly what am i to you?
It's been 6 months into poly life now, honestly it didn't feel like time passed that fast. Having to meet new people in an entirely new setting, it finally feels like i have friends i can count on. Back in secondary, primary, heck, even kinder garden, i never had friends, not real ones at least. I was always bullied as a kid, i was that one person you'd call a "loser" in class. I always felt that no one would ever be there for me, and i never reached out for my teacher's help. I never told my parents. I was afraid, afraid to reach out to people, afraid to trust someone thinking i'll get stabbed in the back, betrayed, made used of.
All of that changed when i entered poly. At least now, i have friends. I wasn't seen as an easy target. I changed.
I met people from all walks of life, and have all kinds of friends. Sounds cheesy as fuck right?
But i honestly have to thank people like Livia, Rachel, Mahathir, Shakir, Hakim, Cheetat, Sherlene, Sherwyn, Raihan, Sholihin, Aloysius, Leon, Joseph and many other people for being there for me when i needed them. They changed how i looked at life, how i think, how i am, and made me into what i am now, and brought me to where i am. Sure i'm not doing very well in school, but heck. Really if i never met any of these individuals i think i'd still be stuck at where i was in secondary school, being a quiet anti-social person in class where everyone never liked.
Gotta thank those who pushed me on like my seniors, my classmates and all. Of course i still have people who dislike me, people who backstab me and all, i mean, that's life for you. You're bound to meet shitty ass fuck people who wants to fuck up your life and make you feel miserable. Been there done that.
I mean friends do come and go, so make a choice to keep your friends by your side. Treasure every damn thing they've done for you. It'll help you in life, it'll teach you a lesson.
Till now i still wonder how all these people i've met handle me and my shit. I don't feel like a good friend. I don't feel like i've done enough for them after all they have done for me. Truth is, i don't know how to be a "good" friend, neither a good girlfriend to my current boyfriend. Because of all the shit i've been through i'm just afraid. Maybe i should move the fuck on and not see anyone like the ones in the past.
I'm trying as hard as i can.
One day, maybe, i'll be that friend someone would want to keep, grow old with, and spend their lifetime with.
